Thursday, October 29, 2015

Good Things

I'm just in the mood to post a few good things. 

I lucked out when it came to FAMILY.  My sister, my only sibling, is one of my favorite people. 

See the little cutie on the left?  That's me when I was two years old.  The other cutie is Carla, who was about five years old at the time. 

Carla has five kids, an army of grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and a few great-greats.  That makes me a great aunt, and a great-great aunt.  I never felt moved to have children, but I LOVE BEING AN AUNT. 

These two are my great-nephew Jeremy and his best-friend-and-girlfriend, Abby.  I think they must have been washing dishes. 

Here they are on prom night.  Jeremy cleans up good, don't you think?

I'll get around to more family in another post.

CATs are good things:

This is Marvin, the most recent addition to our feline family.  We got him in 2013 when he was just 8 weeks old.  He's grown up to be a big, muscular, sturdy cat who vacillates between being sweet and being a devil.

Here's adolescent Marvin.  Such a cutie!

READING is another good thing:

I have no idea what this book is.  I guess I'll have to look back at my "Books I've Read" spreadsheet to see if I can figure it out.  I'm thinking it might be a mystery novel, possibly a Dick Francis book.

I like ZOOs as long as they're really good, spacious ones.

I met this cute giraffe at the Riverbanks Zoo in Columbia, South Carolina.  He (she?) was very glad to meet me since I had two handfuls of leaves for his snack.  I expected his tongue to be slobbery, but it wasn't; it was just slightly moist.  He tried to be polite, but he really wanted that greenery. 

Riverbanks is a pretty good zoo, but it should be out in the country with acres and acres for the animals to roam in.  I didn't like the bird enclosures at all because they are too small. 

I'm not sure what this says about me, but I love MEMEs, especially when they're about something that makes me think. 

If you're looking for a reward for being kind, then you're not being kind.

I also love GEORGE CARLIN.  He was very funny, but also philosophical. 

That may be all the goodness I have in me today. 

 More later. 

Happy Thursday!!

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Shit I Won’t Have To Put Up With When I’m Retired

A Happy Place
When I started my first job -- 48 years ago! -- retirement was not even on my radar.  And now that it's so close, I can't wait!  People ask me, "What are you going to do when you retire?" and my answer is, "Not Work!!"  I have started a list of other stuff I want to do, and it's already into a third page -- and growing!

I've put up with a lot of crap in my working life, as most people have, and frankly I'm sick of it.  Writing this list has been satisfyingly cathartic.  It's actually a companion piece to my previous post on crushing morale in the workplace (the post is titled, "Ah! The Working Life").

Here's the list.  The items are in no particular order.  Sorry it's so long, but I had a lot on my mind.

People telling me what to do!  About the time you start walking, people start telling you what to do.  And they don’t stop until you’re dead.  After I’m retired, if someone wants to tell me what to do, I will politely, or not, encourage them to stick it in their ear.  Or some other orifice.

Me telling other people what to do.  Dammit!  I don’t need to be keeping up with what everybody else is doing, and telling them what and when to do it. 

Putting out fires.  One stupid little thing at work can lead to several different people having freaking meltdowns!  Holy freakin’ cow!  Get ahold of yourself you dumbfucks!  The world is not coming to an end.

Bosses (similar to #1, but more sinister).  

Mansplaining!  Oh. My. God!  If one more man tries to ‘splain anything to me, I may just go postal.  I know perfectly well what percentile my IQ falls into, and I don’t need some condescending, male-chauvinist-pig person telling me how things are! 

Other people’s shit.  I have enough baggage of my own.  Just keep your crap to yourself.  It ain’t my job to solve your problems.

Workplace snobs!  People who think that extra academic degree they have somehow makes them better than me.  There was this one person, back in the 70s and 80s who was like that.  And then someone pointed out that his initials were BVD.  You know, like the underwear brand?  After that his superior attitude didn’t bother me much.  He hated to be wrong, and he especially hated to be corrected by someone who was a) less educated, and b) female.  Asshole.  But there were things I knew that he didn’t.

Butt-headed administrators!  Or just administrators.  Adding “butt-headed” to it is just redundant. 

My alarm clock going off every morning at the ungodly hour it currently goes off each day!

Meetings.  I have always found most meetings to be a colossal waste of my time, and they almost never accomplish anything.

Being a go-between.  Unless you are related to me, by blood, work out your own damn problems with other people.  I will not smooth out your feathers or the feathers of anyone you have differences with!

People who know absolutely nothing about what my job entails telling me how to do my job!!  Seriously, do you also tell your dentist how to fill teeth?  Do you tell your surgeon how to take out your gallbladder?  And since you’re missing that gallbladder, where the hell do you get the gall to tell me how to do my job?!?!  Just shut the fuck up!

"Why do you need a master’s degree to be a librarian?"  Why are you such a fucking idiot?  Tell me, smartass, how do you catalog a damn book!  What’s involved in a reference interview?  What IS a reference interview?  What’s the purpose of a reference interview?  Explain the logic behind the Library of Congress Classification System.  How do you apply it?  How do you formulate a Boolean search statement?  Why do you do it that way?  What’s a shelf list?  I could go on, but if you haven’t figured out just how woefully stupid your ass is by now, you’re worse off than I thought.

Workplace bullies.  These are the people who are in positions higher on the totem pole than yours.  You do your job to the best of your ability and knowledge, and yet, these bullies, and that’s exactly what they are: bullies, are twisting things around (mostly in their own minds), maligning your integrity, calling you and your co-workers liars, and just generally being fucking assholes.  Well, Bully, if that’s how you get your jollies, fine; just leave me out of it and go screw your own damn self, because you’re not worthy of scraping shit off a dead animal’s ass.  


Now I need another nice picture.  How about you?

Saturday, July 18, 2015

A Good Horse laugh

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Ah, The Working Life!

How to Eliminate or Just Simply Crush Morale in the Workplace

Harbor the delusion that you are somehow a despot, if not actually God.  Be arrogant; this gives you the illusion that being a despot, a.k.a. asshole, works in your favor.

Ignore the employees and the Particularly Important Department (PID) they work in, and do this for many years.

Deny funding for improvements to the PID, salaries for much-needed new hires, and raises for the skeleton staff you have left in your wake of budget-slashing and down-sizing.

Let the PID wither, despite the frequent requests for support from the people working in the department.

Wait for the impending site visit of the organization that has the power to soundly smite your organization.

Expect the PID you have been ignoring for years to cheerfully rally round to do the work of making their PID the one that can save your organization from the smiting it most definitely deserves. 

When the employees of the PID seem flabbergasted at your unmitigated gall, accuse them of “having an attitude.”

Threaten them with disciplinary action and possibly dismissal. 

Let your black, little heart rest easy by telling yourself that the people in the PID love you because you are their lord and master.

After you’ve done all these steps, go fuck yourself.

Monday, February 2, 2015


I went to the Bob Seger concert in Atlanta (Duluth, actually, at the Arena at Gwinnett Place) this past Saturday night.  My goodness! the man puts on a great show!  I had attended one of his concerts in the 1980s, and it was the absolute best concert I'd ever experienced!  But the concert this past weekend was even better. 

I went with my oldest niece, Shannon, also a Seger fan.  We ate dinner at a nearby restaurant, the Arena Tavern, and the place was packed with old farts like me who were all headed to the concert as well.  I spoke with several of them and they were just as excited as I was.  We had a very good dinner; mine was the best fish tacos EVER.  I'll never eat fish tacos anywhere else.  

We managed to get a half-decent parking place at the Arena and found our seats with the help of the super friendly Arena staff.  After the concert, it sort of took forever to get out of the parking lot, and then we stopped at my sister-in-law's for the night.  We got there after 1:30 am, Sunday.  Beverly had waited up for us, but after the quick introductions, we all went straight to bed.

Despite some irritations with the opening act and the two twenty-something idiots seated directly in front of me, I had a blast!  

The warm-up act was the J. Geils Band.  They were loud, with too much microphone on the drums and bass guitar -- the kind that makes your chest rattle.  Very uncomfortable.  The lead singer, Peter Wolf, probably drunk and/or high as a kite, was especially annoying.  But on the good side, the keyboard guy was wearing a t-shirt that read "Stand with Women," and the harmonica player was good.

The two idiots, two girls who had probably just hit legal age, kept getting up for trips to the bar, and frequently they'd get up and do something that they must have thought was dancing but the rhythm of their movements had absolutely nothing to do with the rhythm of the music from the stage.  I paid good money for our seats and it annoyed me to no end when they got up and blocked my view of the stage.  My sister-in-law said I should have just reached out and knocked their heads together.  That would have been very satisfying.

However... just getting to hear Bob Seger live again made up for the annoyances.  I read somewhere that this was his last tour, and if I could afford to go to another city to see another concert, I'd do it in a heartbeat!

Bob Seger.  Good music.  I'm a fan.